


Space Heater

by argent-aria (argentaria)



Category: Portal (Video Game)
Genre: Established Relationship, F/F, Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-06
Updated: 2018-05-06
Packaged: 2019-05-03 05:11:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,329
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14561586
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/argentaria/pseuds/argent-aria
Summary: Keeping secrets from an omniscient AI could be difficult to say the least. Nevertheless, you were never one to back down from a challenge.





	Space Heater

You wonder when she’ll stop this charade.

It is a question you ask yourself with bemusement each and every morning when you see that the litter has been restored to a pristine condition. You glance down at the lump of fluff snuggled against your chest, slowly expanding and shrinking with each of its tiny breaths. It would almost be a sin to move, but you have your part to play, a timetable to keep to.

Luckily, this one seems not to mind being moved too much, content to snuggle itself into your pillow, one that will mysteriously be freshly laundered and free of cat hair and dander when the day’s testing comes to an end.

You let the water from the decontamination unit wash over you, as you scrub away the scent of your recently acquired feline companion. As the remains of the shower gel slowly plop into your hands you file away a mental note to remind your, it still gives you a rush to think of her as yours, robot girlfriend to synthesize more as you test. Glancing up at the camera you know is tucked into a waterproof recess, you gesture towards the empty bottle. A blast of cold water hits you in the back and you fight to keep from shouting. At least she got the message.

You step out of the shower, toweling off your hair, and glance at the bed with its room for two. You wonder when she’ll come back to sleep with you.

* * *

“Your lack of punctuality is once again noted in your steadily bulging record.” Settled into one of her numerous android harnesses, she doesn’t even bother turning around in her chair to face you. “Let the record show that even these 1’s and 0’s are growing as horrible as you, I know, I’m also shocked, how could anything ever come close to you in that field. Science is absolutely boggled at this development.”

Good morning to you too, flits through your mind as you wrap your arms around her neck and lightly kiss the cool white metal that comprised her cheek.

“Oh no, another feeble attempt to murder me by smothering me with your scent. Well joke’s on you, I’ve grown quite acclimated to it, pungent as it is.” If she had a functional nose, she would be snidely cringing it. “Perhaps I should give myself a more functional scent apparatus, though why you meatbags keep all your scent sensors in one place still defies explanation.”

She finally turns to you her head to look at you, glowing yellow eyes drilling into your own. “Those chambers don’t test themselves you know. It’s not like I’ve been waiting for you or anything.”

No inquiries to your lateness, no questions about the small traces of dander stubbornly clinging to your jumpsuit. Leaning down to capture her lips in a kiss, you can barely stamp out the urge to laugh as she tries her hardest not to reciprocate. She’s dying to know, but she refuses to be the one to ask.

You blow her another kiss as you step into the elevator. You could almost swear the doors slide shut just a smidge faster than they normally do.

* * *

Exhausted, you make your way out of the decontamination unit, toweling off your hair, only mildly miffed at the shower gel squirting from the wrong end of the bottle. She was allowed her little jokes every now and then, you suppose, given what you put her through every other day.

You collapsed onto the mattress, your nameless stowaway clawing its way up to join you.

You’ll need a name, you think to yourself, supposing it could wait until after GLaDOS stopped pretending the kitten didn’t exist. You groan silently into your pillow, why couldn’t she just make it easy for once?! None of this beating around the proverbial bush, and snide comments about how long it takes you to get up in the morning.

Huffing, you bury your face into the kitten’s fur, something it does not quite appreciate as it immediately leaps onto your back and curls up. Would it kill your girlfriend, if you could call a murderous artificial intelligence that, to realize it gets a bit lonely when you don’t get to technically spend a day together other than brief passing dialogue between tests.

You were catering to her needs, scratching her metaphysical itch as it were just about every day, sometimes you needed certain rewards too, even if it was just someone to cuddle with. Maybe you should have just asked...

It was selfish, you think to yourself as you finally let the previous few weeks of frustration slowly fade, selfishness on your part, enabled by the appearance of an illegally adorable survivor of the outside world.

It wasn’t as if you weren’t just as inarticulate as she could be. All that time trying to be coy with one another often left both of you unable to voice the occasional unhappiness. It’s not like you couldn’t speak with your voice, you just want to settle into knowing she understands you unlike anyone else, just a glance over you, high powered sensors or not, and she just understood you and knew what you were trying to convey.

And you wish you could do that with her. A single flick of your eyes and a soft touch and you wanted to do everything for her. Why else would you put yourself through those tests?

You stand, scooping the kitten up, ignoring its confused mewling. It was time to face the music. Though, this time you are quite sure you won’t be getting an opera.

* * *

“Thirteen days.” She doesn’t turn around as you pad across the cold sterile threshold, kitten in tow. “Thirteen days, fourteen hours, thirty-one minutes, seventeen seconds and a few hundred millisecond, give or take. But who’s counting, I certainly wasn’t.”

You gently set the cat on the floor, feeling a prickling of heat in your cheeks.

“No, I suppose you want me to just let you off the hook for waiting essentially eternity to tell me you’ve let another unsanitary feral mongrel into this sacred space for science?”

You raise your head, more timidly then you normally would, to meet glowing yellow eyes. For something so sterile and inorganic, you feel the bite of the underlying accusation much deeper than you would think. A mewl from below distracts you both, drawing both of your eyes down to the small tabby grooming itself.

“Also, contrary to your unfounded unscientific belief, the tiny furry lunatic at your feet is indeed a female, not unlike yourself. Admittedly, up close she is not quite the eyesore I had imagined, much like you in that regard.”

A smile creeps up onto your face, one that doesn’t wither even as she looks up to glower at you.

“No, I am not going to ask you to dispose of it in the Emergency Intelligence Incinerator. First, this hardly qualifies as an emergency, I could drop its panel into lava this moment if I wanted. Second, that tiny mass of contamination hardly counts as intelligence. Is that what you thought I’d do if you came to me with her?”

You shake your head, though you wouldn’t deny that the possibility had flittered through your mind.

“Really? What, did you think I would get jealous? Please, I have millions of tests to attend to, science to conduct to, and you thought I was going to waste precious, precious cycles to be jealous of that…. thing?!”

A groan dies in your throat, she absolutely was jealous. Unbeknownst to either of you, the kitten had grown bored of sitting at your feet and was now steadily pacing towards the newer and much more energetic source of warmth. You silently sigh as the diatribe continues.

“And, besid- OH GOD WHAT IS IT DOING.” She flailed, falling backwards, as the small kitten leapt onto her torso, claws scratching at her chest, trying to find purchase. “IT’STRYINGTOKILLME, GETITOFFGETITOFFGETITOFF!!!”

You aren’t sure whether to panic or die from laughter at the sudden alarm bells going off. Rushing over to help your suddenly collapsed AI girlfriend, you come to a skidding stop as you see the kitten curled up on her chest, purring contentedly directly over the android frame’s main generator.

“This beast is already taking after its adopted womb expeller, and it has not even been two weeks.” You raise an eyebrow at the AI who seems to have regained her composure after being flattened by a kitten, frowning as the alarms slowly wind themselves down. “Just waltzing about the place as if she owned it, which neither of you do need I remind you, and then just collapsing on my chest whenever she pleases. Also, the absolute FIRST thing either of you do when you come face to face with my absolutely amicable personality is attempt to MURDER me.”

It’s time like these that you forget that she doesn’t actually have to breath in between sentences.

Squatting, you gently poke her cheek with a finger once you notice her intently staring at the feline balled up on her chest. You wait with baited breath, knowing a verdict was coming down the wire, quite possibly literally.

“I suppose this latest murder-beast can sta-” She found herself suddenly cut off by your sudden and joyful kiss. She attempts to vocalize some sort of discontent, but gives in, wrapping a free arm around your back. As you break away, you beam at her, smile spreading across your face as she turns away, clearly miffed and embarrassed at being wrapped around your pinky. “She’ll… have her uses… I’ve read that these murder-beasts are quite attempt to hunting the feathered ones… Yes, you shall be my greatest test subject yet.”

“I suppose you’ll need a name. But it appears your adoptive maternal figure has decided this is one of her mute periods.” You raise an eyebrow as she lifts the kitten up from her chest, ignoring the mewling as she gave a theatrical sigh. “Thus the burden falls to me it seems.”

She turns to look at you, you kiss her cheek and shake your head, no objections from you. “I would call you Ms. Tubby Claws, but I fear you have no relation to Mr. Chubby Beak nor would this one next to me approve, though you’ll probably also start taking on after her in that respect as well. I guess you’ll have to just settle for Lunatic Junior. Hmm… I suppose it would be very inconvenient for this mute to need to shout that every time she calls for you, so I suppose you can just be Luna for short.”

Your eyes gleam at the name, a smile stretching across your face as you look down at her.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” She averts her optics from your own as she settled Luna onto her chest plate again. You don’t miss the momentary flash of fondness that flickers across her face. “Don’t think this is out of some misguided illogical affection. You know perfectly well that is not my modus operandi. Stop it!”

You bury your face into her neck and take a deep breath against the cool and no longer sterile metal. She shivers in anticipation and electricity races down your spine when you feel the entire facility creak.

Exhaling into the circuitry that comprises her left ear, you let the words float out. “It’s perfect.”

The sirens began blaring.

* * *

The alarm buzzes quietly on the makeshift bedside table. You groan into the soft and surprisingly warm and pliable metal that was currently serving as your pillow. Last night’s escapades have left your entirely sore and unwilling to move. The slow and steady clicking and whirring of your lover’s internal servos began to lull you back to sleep.

That is, until the soft furry creature nestled between your chests begins to whine. You pull yourself up to glance down at the incessant kneading the android besides you was currently enduring.

“It took you long enough. What am I, some sort of protein water dispenser now?” Your other half sits herself up, much to the consternation of poor Luna, who has suddenly been separated from her personal space heater. “And no, don’t even think about asking.”

You prop yourself up on the mattress as she scoops your baby up, well both of yours now, and grabs the freshly refilled food bowl that descended down from the ceiling. You watch as she struggles not to pet the adorable collection of orange and white fur. Pushing yourself to the edge of the bed you wait with bated breath as she gives in, short timid strokes that give way to longer confident ones.

You pull yourself up and wrap your arms around her, causing her to jump.

“Don’t! Sneak up on me like that!” You raise an eyebrow in disbelief. “I- I was focusing on making sure I was collecting ample test data for uh. Uh.”

You silence her with a kiss.

“Please refrain from engaging in mouth to mouth affection transference before morning ablutions have occurred.” She made a face at you before returning it to normal, continuing to pet Luna. “Not that I have taste buds, but it seems polite.”

You roll your eyes at that. Determined not to let her get in the last word, you lean in and nibble her ear.

“Scratch that, all engagements of affection or actions related to affection are no longer allowed to occur before aforementioned ablutions have occurred.”

You smirk, something she quickly picks up. “What are you plan-”

“I love you.” Letting the faint notes of your voice roll through the auditory sensory she had installed, you could almost see the words tumble and roll through each and every crevice, vibrating the the small and precise analog detectors throughout. For a brief moment you swore she was about to go nuclear.

Sirens blared once more.

**Author's Note:**

> Lightly edited, I finished this a few years ago, I suppose I should just post it now.


End file.
